Sometimes it's hard to forgive. Actually alot of times it's hard to forgive.
Sometimes its hard to realize you need to forgive. As humans we tend to put the blame on someone else. Or make the other person the "bad guy". In any and every situation there's at least 2 sides. As my mom always said...it takes 2 people to fight. So there's always someone YOU can forgive.
You just have to come to that realization. And come to the place in your life that you can honestly forgive someone.
And it may not be an instant thing. It could take days, months, even years. And that's how my story is.
Not that I got into a fight with anyone...just that I didn't realize the need for me to forgive and move on from my past. I had to come to that realization. I finally realized that for many many years I had been living chained to that unforgiven past.
I was adopted at the age of 10....and before those 10 years of my life alot of things took place. But as a little girl I didn't realize all that was taking place. I was just glad to be living with my mom and sometimes present dad. As I began to grow and realize my home life wasn't the safest for me I began to resent many people. Including the people who l ool bed me and were trying to take care of me.
It wasn't until after I was adopted that I realized all that people had done to give me a better life.
Sometimes it takes something tragic to make you step back and breathe in all that God does for you.
Sometimes God needs to bring you into a different scenario to make you wake up and realize His goodness.
And that's exactly what He did for me. I look back on my life now and am so beyond thankful and grateful for all that He has done for me. I can see His hand in my life all along the way. As of recent I've come to fully understand His goodness towards me. I can't even begin to say how thankful I am to have been adopted.
To have a family I can call my own. To have a place to sleep, to have a mom and dad who are always there, and to have so many loving siblings.
My process of forgiveness hasn't been easy...but it's been so worth it.
Now some of you may be thinking "who does she need to forgive?" And yes.....that question came into my mind many many times.
After all....(I thought) I'm not the one who messed up. I'm not the one who made the bad choices. I was just a kid living my life. And all of a sudden I have to go live with a family I don't know. But I came to the realization that I was angry at my parents. Angry at them for choosing drugs and alcohol over me. And my 3 siblings. Angry at my dad for hardly being involved in my life. And angry at the choices they continued to make....not seeming to care about their own children.
And as I began to think about all of their mistakes and why why WHY??? God began to show me that I needed to forgive and let go....
SOUNDS SO SIMPLE, DOESNT IT??
I wish it was that easy. If only....
I was reading a book by Melissa Spoelstra named "Forgiveness" and it really opened my eyes and heart to the need to forgive them.
And to this day it's still so hard. My heart is broken for the lives they continue to live. But I'll never stop loving them. And I'll NEVER stop praying for them.
But you my friends....have a choice to make. To forgive and move on...or to live chained to your unforgiven past.....
I leave the choice up to you💕💕💕